Python Demonstrates Superb Musical Taste

Continuing to perpetuate the theory that her entire career is satire, Dannii Minogue is recovering after being strangled by a python during a recent video shoot.

It was sweet revenge for the rare white python, who was taken from its natural habitat of rugged tropical rainforest as a child. Minogue was cavorting with the reptile for the clip to her upcoming single ‘So Under Pressure’ when it began wrapping itself around her waist. In a possible giant leap in reptilian evolution, it is now thought that white pythons have discovered the precise source of the human singing voice, and the best way to prevent it from being used inappropriately.

The python said in a brief statement, “Look, I came on board for this shoot in good faith. I was promised by my agent that Ms Minogue would not actually need to sing, but rather mime to a backing track. But at one point, she actually began singing, and I was left with no choice other than to curl myself around her diaphragm in order to prevent this from happening.”

Minogue said of the incident, “The python was on its best behaviour for most of the shoot and was curling around me beautifully. Everyone was thrilled. But then things started getting out of hand. It constricted itself really tightly around my waist and I couldn't breathe. I started gesticulating wildly to the director to let him know I was in trouble but he thought I was just moving around more passionately.”

The python has been signed up for the next series of "X Factor" as a replacement for Simon Cowell!! Afterall it has a more likeable personality for starters.